Quick tips towards achieving body self-acceptance

We live in a diet culture we live in influences the way we think, feel, and talk about our bodies.  The media bombards us with messages that thinness equals beauty, and the medical field tells us that being thin is equivalent to being healthy (which by the way, research has proven is not true.) We live in a digital world that constantly shows us images of women that are airbrushed and photo-shopped, bodies that are unattainable for nearly all women. Women’s bodies are objectified and sexualized in advertisements to sell us beauty products we don’t need, and diets that don’t work. Although we are born intuitively knowing how to feed our bodies eating when we are hungry and stopping when we’re full, we somehow unlearn this primitive instinct. We listen to our parents who tell us what we can eat, when, and how much as children. And as adults, we find diets to do the same. 

I recently did a lecture for a group of teenage girls on eating disorders and body image issues. I was blown away by the amount of dislike each girl in the room had about their body.  The girls that were overweight wanted to be thinner.  The girls that were thin talked about the pressure they feel to gain weight.  The girls that had straight hair wanted curlier hair.  The girls with small boobs wanted larger ones.  And the list went on…about all of the things they wanted to change about themselves.  When I asked them to think about physical attributes about themselves that they liked, they found this to be a very challenging task.  A couple of them couldn’t even name one thing.  It was truly devastating to see a room of bright, beautiful, young, healthy women feel so bad about themselves and their bodies. 

I educated them about body acceptance for themselves and each other.  I discussed the way “fat talk” can be toxic and how it promotes self-hate and eating disorders. I talked about how it is possible to love one’s body and nurture a positive relationship with their bodies and food.  I shared the idea of intuitive eating instead of dieting to feed and nourish their bodies for optimal health. I relayed the importance of exercising for pleasure, not for burning calories. I left the workshop feeling satisfied about the message I was able to portray, yet unsure about its lasting impact on them. 

So how can we truly embody this message of loving ourselves despite the messages we receive that make us feel that we are not enough?  Not pretty enough?  Not thin enough?  I think what works is different for each of us, but here are a couple of tips that may be helpful.

1. Disengage in fat talk.  If you are a part of a conversation in which your friends or family are talking about how fat they feel, diets, calories, and it starts to feel negative, disengage.  You can walk away, change the subject, or confront them on how the conversation is nonproductive. 
2. See the beauty in yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and find qualities that you like about your appearance.  Acknowledge them. Honor them.  Feel good about them.  Focus on what you like about yourself and less on what you don’t like. 
3. Recognize the beauty in others.  It’s so easy for our critical eye to take over and for us to focus on not only our own faults, but each others’ as well.  See the beauty in each other instead.  Find things you like about your friends, coworkers, and family members.  Then tell them.  A compliment can completely turn around someone’s day.  And they tend to be contagious. 
4. Exercise for pleasure.  Exercise for the right reasons.  Not because you want to burn calories, but because it makes you feel good.  Give up the exercise routine that you dread and hate, and replace it with activities you love. 
5. Cultivate a positive relationship with food.  Diets do not work and they disconnect you from your body’s cues.  Listen to your body.  Feed your cravings.  Feed your body healthy and nourishing foods.  Do not deprive yourself of foods that maybe aren’t as healthy if that is what your body wants.  Listen to hunger cues.  Eat until satiated.  Stop when you are full.  And be mindful during your meals so that you can truly taste the food you are eating and enjoy the experience. 
6. Be mindful of your experience of exposure to media.  I’m not saying to go off the grid and never watch TV or go on social media.  But really pay attention to what your experience is when you do and how it makes you feel.  You may need to limit your time on certain websites or avoid them if they make you feel less than.  

As the warm weather approaches, please keep these tips in mind.  I promise that losing that extra weight to have your bikini body is not going to solve all of your problems and make you love yourself.  It's finding that nurturing, loving, self-accepting relationship with yourself that will.